Depression: feeling sad, fatigued, and with a loss of interest in things you normally enjoy.
Mental illness is REAL and it is HARD.
Ever feel like you are so far deep into the pit of despair you can not breathe?
The definition above is one pulled from my brain, but you can find a more in-depth explanation here.
People will always disagree with you. Even if you feel in your heart of hearts that you are doing what you need to do to stand firm in Christ, people will attack you. People you thought loved you unconditionally will turn on you. They will call you names, they will say hurtful things.
Unfortunately, in my lifetime, some members of my family have been hurtful over and over. Things have been said or done to me that have left a lasting impression on my heart and soul. Years later I am still saddened by these things and left feeling dispensable. As a human, it is devastating to know that your family-BLOOD RELATIVES-would so easily dismiss you and your feelings.
Because of all the trauma of my past, I DO suffer with depression and anxiety. I KNOW I shouldn’t let these people get to me. The trauma of my past keeps my brain from slowing down or stopping these negative thoughts. It is very hard for me to jump off the hamster wheel of my brain and remember my worth. I constantly wonder what is it about ME that is SO BAD that even family would go out of their way to hurt me?!? I don’t do that to others, so why is it constantly done to me.
It’s an empty, lonely place to be when you are in this pit of despair. For those of you also going through something along these lines, we must remember that THEIR attitudes are a reflection of THEM and NOT us!!!!
Nonetheless, God loves me. I am worthy of being loved, and worthy enough to die for!
God is bigger than any mean thing someone can say to me. God is bigger than my depression. God’s yoke is EASY. He wants us to give our burdens to HIM. He is so much stronger than we are, so it is nothing for Him to carry these burdens for us.
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
This is an uplifting song I like to listen to when I’m feeling heavy. An oldie but a goodie!
When it feels like you have fallen into a deep, dark hole, it takes one person to toss you a rope to help you be free. I am so blessed to have close friends and other family members who threw me a rope last night, to help me find my way back towards the light. 🙂 If you need that lifeline, please reach out to me. Email me and I will pray for you and do whatever I can to help you.
*If you are heaving an extra hard time with a mental illness and need someone to talk to immediately, please go here or call 800-273-8255.
Love to you ALL. And remember, you can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens YOU!